Valentine’s Day Gift Recommendations

12 Feb 2010 Author: Durgesh Kawale Filed Under: Features

All around the world, the burial day of some godforsaken eponymous saint is celebrated as Valentine’s Day. As if having to celebrate the anniversary of your being entrapped in the “sacred bond of love” wasn’t enough, poor St Valentine’s burial is another occasion to let the big corporations steal your money, all in the name of love. How do most celebrate this day? Well, you generally waste money by giving and receiving gifts. The smart ones though gift 1 GB pen drives, hoping to receive a 500 GB external HDD in return. We at Gadgetted.com are good humans (honest!), so here we are, presenting a few gift ideas for a “Gadgetted” Valentine’s Day. With this article, I hereby grandly announce the end of the era of gifting Apple products to males and teddy bears to females.

Love At First Sight Glasses

Found the Red Queen and White Queen holographic appearances amusing in the action packed Resident Evil series of movies? Well, you can now see the love of your life in the same holographic avatar. All you need is the Love At First Sight Glasses kit and HappyDent White chewing gum. The kit comes with two 3D glasses that fake the holographic effect, along with a candle for adding some romance in the package. The glasses transform the bright face of your beloved partner (after chewing on HappyDent) by surrounding it with a rainbow-coloured heart holograph. This kit costs £3.95 (Rs 285 approx) with just the candles, and Rs 300 along with the HappyDent. Here’s the commercial if you have no idea what HappyDent is:

Locked ON Proximity Sensing T-Shirt

So you’ve been invited to a V-Day party, or will be going to a disco on Sunday night? Assuming that said party will be crowded as usual, the stuck-together couple, as well as the experimenting-with-separation couple, will often want to track each other down. Throw in the loud music that usually accompanies these dos, and cellphones are rendered useless in their purpose. This is where my next gift idea comes handy. The Locked ON Proximity Sensing T-Shirt has animated LEDs, a radio signal receiver-cum-transmitter, and a power source, giving you the power of “wearable radar”. Depending on the proximity signals in the air, you shirt will emit light patterns that estimate the range to your ”target”. Prized at $20 (Rs 1000 approx) a pair, this is money well spent to track your love — for whatever reason you wish. Check out the video of this snazzy device in action:

Humping Dog USB Gadget

The female of our species has found dogs cute since its existence (of females, not dogs). The male of our species has often used the “Cute dog. Here, Tommy!” formula to strike up a conversation with the intention of getting the female into bed (and the dog too, if you swing that way). Valentine’s Day is a celebration of this Standard Operating Procedure™ (SOP)in the human mating ritual. Hence, this cute little Humping Dog USB Gadget makes for an ideal gift. This energetic dog is a symbol of the successful execution of the aforementioned SOP that thousands of generations of humans have used. Tommy costs $10 (Rs 500 approx), and will not stop ever! He can even be thought of as a master in the art of making love. Incidentally, Tommy is just a toy; he does not have any storage space. Ah, no matter. Check out the video below — you won’t be disappointed.

Boostaroo

The audiophile couple’s ultimate date idea is a music concert. But what can you do when all you have to choose is a concert between Backstreet Boys and Britney? Simple, you gift each other Boostaroo and listen to Tracy Chapman, while sipping on some wine and enjoying the sun setting below the nonexistent meadows! Boostaroo plugs itself into your MP3 player and splits the signal into two along with amplification, so there’s no loss of sound quality. This opportunity to enjoy a lovely evening listening to music and appreciating natural beauty (you decide if it’s your partner or the sunset) costs $30 (Rs 1500 approx).

Astrostar

If you don’t often get out of a crowded and polluted city like Bombay, you must have never enjoyed the beauty of a clear night sky filled with stars. In most cities, it’s difficult to even spot the Pole Star, leave alone other planets and constellations visible to the naked eye. Despair not, for Astrostar can bring the sky into your room. For $12 (Rs 600 approx), you can spend some cosy time with your loved one, gazing the bright night sky, and all within the comfort of your bedroom! The product comes in a dissembled state, needing some technical knowledge to put it together — nothing a big boy like you can’t handle, though. Time setting and location dials will even projects the sky as it’s supposed to look in your corner of the world! Finally, all those claims you made to your girlfriend of “sitaaron ko todkey laoonga” as part of the SOP can actually come true!

LELO YVA \ LELO EARL

Give in to your basic animal needs. Depending upon what perspective you hold, humans need a social family life to have chemistry, or chemistry to have a social family life. Either way, my next idea will drill a huge hole in your pocket. On the other hand, they are the ultimate in their category. If it gives you immense happiness to see your partner happy, consider buying the 1050 Euro (Rs 67,000 approx) LELO YVA or 690 Euro (Rs 44,000 approx) LELO EARL for your Valentine.

Both are available in either stainless steel or 18K gold plated versions. Without sounding like a pervert, these products are meant to give the physical pleasure that every functional human often needs.

MNS \ Shiv Sena Gaydar

The most important gift you can give your dearest is life itself! It will be worthwhile knowing in which locations your existence can potentially be threatened on Valentine’s Day — in Maharashtra, at least. Check out the following links to know the latest secret plans of these anti-Valentine political bodies. Boo!

Maharashtra Navnirman Sena
Shiv Sena